I survived!

I survived another child going off to kindergarten!  I also survived my older child going into 3rd grade!  I have no idea when they got bigger but it seems to have happened over night.  I really shocked myself, and everyone that knows me, when I didn't completely fall apart yesterday when I dropped Maddie off.  Mr Davis was prepared to have to hold me up on our walk back home.  I did cry.  I quietly whimpered as we walked home.  Mr Davis simply held my hand and allowed me to be quiet for a few minutes.  I sucked it up, dried my eyes, and went on with our morning. 

When Grace started kinder, Maddie also started pre-school & we were in the middle of a very stressful home purchase.  It was just more than I could handle at the moment.  I did a LOT of crying that fall.  All of that fall.  And half of spring.  Sending her to first grade was quite a bit easier because I took the Dr Seuss quote "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" to heart.  I made it my motto. 

This spring, me and my friend, Ashlee, decided to start training for a 5K.  We used the C25K app.  We started strong but summer happened and she fell off the wagon.  I was determined to stay on and started running with another friend, Noemi, who runs regularly.  She runs faster and farther than I do.  She is a great support and encourages me to keep going even when I feel like I'm dying.  She also tells me it's ok when I take a break.  I'm thrilled that Ashlee is back and I have two amazing running buddies now!  I'm such a lucky girl!  Running allows me to clear my mind and reset.  Our runs consist of mindless chatter, heart to hearts and good laughs.  These two ladies have made such a difference in my world!
 

Me & Ashlee

Noemi & me

A lot of things have changed since this past spring and running has given me a new outlook.  It has made me realize that I'm fine with all of the changes around me.  It has made me realize that I'm more than fine, I'm happier because of them.  It also made me realize that I'm not going to die because my kids are growing into lovely young ladies.  I'll survive the day they start middle school, high school, and college.  I'll survive their wedding day.  I may create my own puddle for a little while but I'll be ok.  I choose to be happy because they're here, they're happening and I've been given the beautiful gift of being their mother.  I've been able to stay home with them until they've both started school.  Tomorrow, I start a very flexible new job that allows me to drop them off and pick them up everyday and to be there for their parties and events.  I'm nervous & excited.  I haven't had an outside job since Grace was a baby.  But I'm sure I'll survive.